What to do with negative feelings.

October 3rd, 2018. Our feelings and emotions are always going to go up and down like waves in the ocean. We are thinking, feeling and emotional beings. It’s unrealistic to expect that you shouldn’t experience negative emotion, because it’s just not supposed to be that way. However what you can do is become more skilled in your thoughts and emotions, so that when you feel your mood starting to go down hill, you know what to do to ride that wave and encourage yourself back to a calmer and more positive state of mind. In other words, you can become better and being able to recognise negativity building up within you before it gains much momentum, and then be better at talking yourself back to a more positive state.

What I’ve found through my own experience is that it’s all about the way that you think to yourself and how you respond to what’s happening to you. If you change the way you’re thinking about something, the way you feel about it will change to match it. So you really have to learn to be able to catch yourself when you feel your mood starting to slip, and then talk to yourself in a calmer and more positive way.

First of all you have to break the momentum. Go for a walk. Listen to some relaxing music. Meditate. Take a nap. Do whatever you find is the best way for you to switch off for a little bit, and this will begin to break the momentum. Whilst doing this, or after, begin to start softening your thoughts. What I mean by this is begin to think more softly and more generally. Listing in your mind things that you’re grateful for in your life is a great place to start. List things that you appreciate. List positive things about your life right now. Now begin to talk to yourself like a mentor about the situation. Find positives about the situation that is bothering you. Think about it from other angles. What can you learn from it? What can you take from it to make you stronger?

By doing this you will become much more disciplined in how you’re thinking and feeling and responding to the challenges that life is giving you. Over time you will be amazed at how quickly you can dissipate that negative energy, and very quickly talk yourself back to a much calmer and more positive state.

Here are some of my most soothing thoughts.

  1. I know that no matter how bad I think it is, there a still millions of people all over the world that would rather be in my shoes than their own…
  2. Things are never as bad as they first seem. Everything always works itself out in the end…
  3. I know that over thinking and over worrying doesn’t make anyย difference, so I’m justย going to let it go, relax, and see what happens…
  4. I’m just going to relax my way through this…
  5. I know that I can learn something from this. I know life is giving me the challenges in my life to help me learn and grow…
  6. I know that I have a lot of things in my life to be grateful for in my life…
  7. I’m no longer going to beat myself up. I’m going to start being my own best friend…
  8. It’s okay. I’ll probably feel better in a little bit, so I may as well just relax right now…
  9. I’m proud of myself for how much I’mย learning about myself and life…
  10. I love feeling calm, relaxed, and at peace within myself. I love being able to let things go…ย 

@jamesjneed