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Stop beating yourself up.

October 8th, 2018. Stop beating yourself up. Stop repeating negative stories to yourself. Stop putting yourself down and start pulling yourself up.

You have to be your own best friend. You have to treat yourself with love and kindness. You have to start relaxing a little bit more and enjoy this magical journey.

@jamesjneed

What to do with negative feelings.

October 3rd, 2018. Our feelings and emotions are always going to go up and down like waves in the ocean. We are thinking, feeling and emotional beings. It’s unrealistic to expect that you shouldn’t experience negative emotion, because it’s just not supposed to be that way. However what you can do is become more skilled in your thoughts and emotions, so that when you feel your mood starting to go down hill, you know what to do to ride that wave and encourage yourself back to a calmer and more positive state of mind. In other words, you can become better and being able to recognise negativity building up within you before it gains much momentum, and then be better at talking yourself back to a more positive state.

What I’ve found through my own experience is that it’s all about the way that you think to yourself and how you respond to what’s happening to you. If you change the way you’re thinking about something, the way you feel about it will change to match it. So you really have to learn to be able to catch yourself when you feel your mood starting to slip, and then talk to yourself in a calmer and more positive way.

First of all you have to break the momentum. Go for a walk. Listen to some relaxing music. Meditate. Take a nap. Do whatever you find is the best way for you to switch off for a little bit, and this will begin to break the momentum. Whilst doing this, or after, begin to start softening your thoughts. What I mean by this is begin to think more softly and more generally. Listing in your mind things that you’re grateful for in your life is a great place to start. List things that you appreciate. List positive things about your life right now. Now begin to talk to yourself like a mentor about the situation. Find positives about the situation that is bothering you. Think about it from other angles. What can you learn from it? What can you take from it to make you stronger?

By doing this you will become much more disciplined in how you’re thinking and feeling and responding to the challenges that life is giving you. Over time you will be amazed at how quickly you can dissipate that negative energy, and very quickly talk yourself back to a much calmer and more positive state.

Here are some of my most soothing thoughts.

  1. I know that no matter how bad I think it is, there a still millions of people all over the world that would rather be in my shoes than their own…
  2. Things are never as bad as they first seem. Everything always works itself out in the end…
  3. I know that over thinking and over worrying doesn’t make anyΒ difference, so I’m justΒ going to let it go, relax, and see what happens…
  4. I’m just going to relax my way through this…
  5. I know that I can learn something from this. I know life is giving me the challenges in my life to help me learn and grow…
  6. I know that I have a lot of things in my life to be grateful for in my life…
  7. I’m no longer going to beat myself up. I’m going to start being my own best friend…
  8. It’s okay. I’ll probably feel better in a little bit, so I may as well just relax right now…
  9. I’m proud of myself for how much I’mΒ learning about myself and life…
  10. I love feeling calm, relaxed, and at peace within myself. I love being able to let things go…Β 

@jamesjneed

Relax with life.

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October 2, 2018. This moment is exactly as it’s supposed to be in order for you to learn and grow. As hard as it can be to see sometimes; life is always giving you the experiences that you need to help you evolve and grow as a person. If you don’t learn the lessons that life is trying to teach you, life will keep giving you the same or similar experiences until you have learnt that lesson. The more you learn from the challenges you’re facing, the faster and quicker your life will evolve.

Most pain and suffering is rooted in resisting the past or present and by creating anxiety over what the future might hold. You can mitigate all of this by accepting that this is where you’re at in your evolution right now, and that life is always trying to teach you, not hurt you.

Today make it your goal to ease off a little bit. Don’t fight against anything. Just accept what arises and focus on breathing calmly and slowly throughout your day. Talk to yourself in a calmer and more gentle way. Find positives, not negatives. Don’t rush, walk a little bit slower. Don’t let small things bother you. Hold the door open for people. Smile more. Remind yourself of the things you’re grateful for and leave alone the things that are bothering you.

You gain enormous inner power inΒ surrendering to the present moment, and if you can fully accept yourself and the present moment with all your being, you will be flooded with feelings of inner peace.

Keep learning from everything that happens to you and enjoy this magical journey. Life isn’t serious after all.

Please like, comment and share if you enjoy.

@jamesjneed

The way you think is shaping your world.

September 24, 2018. Our ability to think is what is moulding and shaping our reality. If your thinking is anxious, you will create more feelings of anxiety. If your thinking is negative, you will create more negativity in your life. If in your thinking you’re doing a lot of complaining, you will create in your life more things to complain about. You have to learn to think to yourself in a softer and more positive way.

The best way you can learn to become a more positive thinker, is by spending 15 minutes every day practicing thinking positive thoughts to yourself. Just get yourself comfy, either sat or lay down, and firstly take a few deep breaths. Once you’ve done that, now scan your body to release all the tension from your muscles. Now begin to list in your mind, over and over, things that you’re grateful for. ”I appreciate my…Β I’m so grateful for… I love to feel…’‘. Just keep finding positive thought after positive thought. It may be a little bit slow and forced at first, but you will get better and better and start to gain momentum.

By doing this regularly you will start to become much more disciplined in your mind and thoughts. You will start to become more aware of when your mind slips into complaining, or when it is generally getting more negative, and then you will get better at being able to talk yourself back to a more positive state of mind.

Little changes in your thinking will create massive shifts in your life.

Think positively. Think constructively.

Please like, comment and share if you enjoy.

@jamesjneed

Celebrate life.

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September 3, 2018. We should all do this a little more. Sometimes I think we all fall into the trap of taking ourselves and life too seriously. At times it’s important to just stop and remind ourselves that life is supposed to be fun, that life isn’t supposed to be serious, and that we should try to enjoy our day to day experience a little bit more.

Moving forward in our lives let’s make it our goal to celebrate the simplicity of life. Even if you’re at work, even if you’re doing chores all day that you’d rather not be doing, just smile and be grateful to just be here experiencing life. When you stop and reflect and think about it, things are never as bad as they seem. One thought that I try to remind myself when my mood dips is that no matter how I feel right now, there are still millions of people all over the world who would rather be in my shoes. No matter how bad it seems, there are still people worse off.

Please like and share if you enjoy.

@jamesjneed

Meditation changed my life.

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August 31st, 2018. Looking back over the years since I first became interested in the idea of meditation I feel very grateful for how much it has helped me as a person and how positively it has impacted my life. Before I began, I was always on edge and anxious, and very quickly got frustrated and annoyed if things didn’t go my way. At the time if I was asked I would have considered myself a pretty happy person, and I think others would have described me that way too, but deep down I was unsatisfied.

My interest in mediation was first sparked by listening to a number of interviews with successful athletes and entrepreneurs who spoke about meditation as part of their daily routine. Something clicked and it really intrigued me as to what it was all about and whether at the time it could help me with my performance as a golfer. During this time I learnt that my Grandad before he passed away had started to meditate all the time. After many more months of researching and listening to people talk about meditation and the varying kinds, I really became serious about making it a new daily habit of mine. From that moment on I decided to keep it simple and just commit to spending 15 minutes every day in meditation, even if I just sit still for that time, and I have done so since that day.

When I look back I can really see how much it made me start to look more within myself. It made me start to really reflect on who I am as a person and what I want to create with my life. It helped me to recognise and look at my strengths and weaknesses, and how IΒ could improve as a person. It also made me much calmer, less anxious, and much more patient with life and others around me. I think the biggest thing I’ve found is how much it has helped me to recognise how many things there are to be grateful for in life and to really appreciate this beautiful world that we live in.

Over recent years since that day I’ve experimented with many different types of meditation, right the way from transcendental meditations, to simple breath and body meditations. What I’ve found best as a suggestion to the people I’ve worked with is to keep it short and simple, but to be consistent. Below is a really simple meditation exercise for you to try.

Firstly set a timer for 15 minutes and then get yourself comfy, either sat or lay down, in a place where you aren’t going to be disturbed. Start by taking some really long, deep breaths for about 20 – 30 seconds. Now begin to calm and slow your breath right down. Begin to breathe asΒ calmly and as quietly as you can for the next 1 – 2 minutes. Now take your attention into your body and begin to scan your body for tension. Start by scanning your feet, releasing all the tension from your muscles, and begin to work your way right up your body to your face and the top of your head. Now become aware of your body as a whole, feel it tingling with energy and again make sureΒ there is noΒ tension or holding on in anyΒ muscles. Now bring your attentionΒ back to your breath. As you breathe in countΒ slowly from 1 – 4, and as you breathe out count slowly from 1 – 4.Β 

When you wake up you should feel very relaxed and refreshed. Enjoy giving yourself this time to switch off completely, physically and mentally. Meditation really has brought so many positive benefits to my life without having to even try. I’m sure it will do the same for you too.

@jamesjneed

Dream big. Start small.

August 24th, 2018. Don’t be scared to dream big, but you got to start small. Don’t get lost trying to create a massive vision of what you want without getting practical and putting it into action one step at a time. If you’ve got a big goal or vision, you’ve got to break it down and build a step by step process of how you’re going to get there. You’ve then got to get practical and start working through those steps one at a time. Too many people, especially young people who think they can do anything, have a big vision, but quickly become overwhelmed because they have no real process outlined in terms of how they’re going to do it. I think it’s great to have push yourself to build big and wonderful things with your life that can help and bring value to the world, but you’ve got to get practice in terms of how you’re going to do it. Remember nothing happens over night. It takes consistent action over a long period of time (making small improvements every day) to create anything big. This applies to business or sport.

So reach for the stars. Really get clear on who you are, how you can bring the most value to the world, and what you would really like to create with your life. Then get practical about how you’re going to do it.

Please like and share if you enjoy.

@jamesjneed